Funny Amazon Review of Clit Suction Post on Facebook

I wouldn't usually think to buy a sex toy from Amazon. Normally it's the place I go to add books to my ever-growing TBR pile or random kitchen gadgets I'll never use. But that changed once I saw the rose sex toy on TikTok.

If you've been on the sexy side of TikTok anytime in the last month, you'll know all about the rose sex toy, a suction based sex toy that's sent social media into a spin. Over 100,000 hashtags have been generated around the rose sex toy alone. One video - wherein the uploader claims she came in 30 seconds with the rose - racked up a huge 627,000 likes.

"I don't need a man for anything ever again. This is the best god damn invention ever," one TikTok user says in her video. "Men, you're getting replaced by the rose," says another.

Search for #TheRoseReview or #TheRoseToy (don't bother searching for 'sex toy' - TikTok hides anything that's obviously sex related!) and you're inundated with personal reviews, instruction videos and even memes.

But it's not for everyone

But not all the reviews are positive. Because Amazon is full of different sellers - and it's hard to tell who really owns those stores - it's likely the rose is dropshipped. The enjoyment (and safety) you get with the rose toy certainly depends where you buy from.

One TikToker demonstrated the rose's functions in a video, showing her toy to be extremely loud, shouting "They said it was supposed to be soundproof!" The comments are filled with responses that their rose doesn't sound like that, and their concerned hers is a cheap and possibly even unsafe version. Tbf, it sounds like a power drill.

Many also claim the rose sex toy just doesn't live up to the bar TikTok set. "It's not even giving what you said it was supposed to give, no, I wasted my money," one user lip syncs in a video captioned "Me after buying the overhyped rose toy." Other users said the toy just gave up altogether and stopped charging after a few uses.

Editor's note: in the months following the publication of this review, Lovehoney released its own version of #TheRoseToy. This is not the exact toy reviewed in the article, and is not an exact match for the toys recommended on TikTok, but it is similar in appearance and functionality. Like the toy reviewed in the rest of this article, this toy has ten suction modes. As well as being from a trusted retailer, it is waterproof and rechargeable.

Lovehoney Rose Toy Clitoral Suction Stimulator

Lovehoney lovehoney.co.uk

£49.99

So, how do we stay safe?

As excited as you may be to start orgasming immediately, it's best to do some research first - as dropshipping means you might not be getting the best quality of sex toy on the market. As many of the toys seem to come from China, the rose may not even meet UK standards.

Ruby Payne from Uber Kinky said: "Sex toys fall under the very broad range of consumer product safety regulation, and they have no requirements specifically aimed at the design and creation of sex toys.

"Because of this lack of regulations, many toys are made from unknown materials, possibly containing toxic chemicals, which are then bought and used by oblivious pleasure seekers. The best thing buyers can do is to only buy from reputable and legit sex toy companies."

Dropshipping isn't unsafe on its own - it's simply a way of cutting out the middleman which means no one manufacturer produces it. Once you order, you're getting the product straight from the supply chain to you but it does mean that you can come into huge complexities when it comes to delivery, the amount of stock and even refunds if anything goes wrong.

Time to try this out

When it comes to sex toys, I consider myself an expert. As a woman with mobility issues, sex toys helped me explore my body and rediscover what pleasure meant for me when I first become disabled. Sex toys provided me with the initial privacy and pleasure to explore what I could still feel and what I wanted out of sex, both solo and with a partner. I quickly learned that while G-spot sex toys aren't for me, toys with a sucking function - which is exactly what the rose is all about - really work as I can use them on multiple erogenous zones.

So I was intrigued, could the rose live up to the hype? Was it worth the money? And, was it safe? There was only one way to find out.

Suction movements really work as I can use it on multiple erogenous zones.

There are multiple different versions of the rose to go for on Amazon but I sifted for one with fast delivery and five star reviews. Knowing what I now know about dropshipping and the dangers of buying toys from China, I'd probably opt for a similar toy from a more well-known brand.

But, mine arrived the next day and, according to the box, it was made from hypoallergenic silicone. Nice and body safe. It's also one of the prettiest sex toys I've ever held in my hands. Its ornamental look makes the rose discreet by nature, and it comes fit with a privacy-awarding silencing feature. The rose is also waterproof and makes for perfect bath time company.

So when my rose toy arrived, I took initial caution. Once it was fully charged (thankfully mine worked just fine!) I carefully used the toy on my nipples just to see what the ten-point suction ability was really like. I have to admit, I was immediately blown away.

A simple easy-access button means you can go from 1-10 swiftly, although you might want to bite down on a towel if you're going for 10 straight away.

I've tested a lot of supposedly realistic sucking sex toys but nothing has compared to the rose. On my nipples with a small amount of lube, it felt like I had someone there working on my sensitive parts and biting down at just the right moments.

I'd have been happy with just its nipple-sucking function. But, in the name of truly trying and testing, it was time to use it on my clitoris.

The pulsating suction felt like I was at the mercy of an oral genius

Adding some lube (my current favourite is this one) I set to work, initially starting slow and building up. While you can get some versions of the rose that come with a 'tongue', I went for the classic standard suction, but it proved to be anything but standard. The pulsating suction felt like I was at the mercy of an oral genius, providing then taking away just enough pressure to help edge me closer to orgasm.

Rocking the rose comfortably in the palm of my hand just backward and forwards added to the pleasure and I found myself reaching orgasm quicker than with most sex toys I've used in the past- and absolutely quicker than most partners I've been with!

I later tested out the rose's waterproof feature in the bath and, you guessed it, I felt like I broke some sort of Olympic record for having a super quick orgasm.

So, am I as addicted to the rose as the rest of TikTok? Yes. I've got to hand it to social media. I've been influenced to buy many products from online hype but this has to be the best purchase so far. Whether you're a sex toy beginner or more of an expert like me, the rose doesn't fail to help you achieve an absolute banger of an orgasm in no time.

I'll be reaching for the rose again when I just fancy something quick on a morning to set me up for the day, or if I don't fancy being in the bath or shower alone. A shower, not a grower, I can wholeheartedly confirm the rose that I purchased lives up to the TikTok hype!